


love is a bit difficult

by pinkhues



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26324404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkhues/pseuds/pinkhues
Summary: Renjun lets his eyes shut. He imagines Jeno’s hands interlocked with his. He wonders what it’s like to be in his embrace, what it’s like to be on the receiving end of his love and attention.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	love is a bit difficult

**Author's Note:**

> -hello so first i would like to apologise for the very bad summary because this was honestly something i came up with spontaneously after watching Kimi No Todoke  
> -everything is really sloppy im so sorry  
> \- unbetaed and this is really purely self-indulgent  
> -i've been wanting to write an nct dream fic for so long but i never had the courage to post one so i was determined to post this as a start

Renjun paces back and forth in the empty classroom, unknowingly biting on his nails for the only thing he’s aware of is the ticking from the classroom wall clock becoming even more unbearably louder and the sound of his heart throbbing against the cage of his chest. Renjun contemplates over and over again over what he’s about to do. He feels a soft panic that grows as he anticipates the arrival of the person he’s waiting for.He desperately tries to reason in his mind, trying to understand the conviction that is coming from inside of him. And whether this is worth all the risk.

“Renjun? You in there?” Renjun is cut off from his own thoughts as he hears the familiar voice. Jeno is here. His breathing becomes even more rapid. His heart’s beating so fast it feels like it's about to leap out of his own chest. _Shit, Shit, Shit._

He hears the doors being slide open, so he sprints from the window sill area to the door in a split second, quickly slamming the door shut. He caught a glimpse of Jeno; his eyes and mouth were wide open in an expression of stunned surprise. Renjun grimaces, feeling a little apologetic to Jeno for slamming it right on his face. “Sorry! Wait! Don’t come in! Just not yet.” He pleaded, sounding a little desperate.

“Renjun is everything okay..?” He hears the other asking behind the sliding door.

“I-No! I mean yes! Just. Don't come in.” Suddenly all preparations he has made in his head a while ago now in disarray, leaving his state of mind in a turmoil and tangled in a mess of sentiments. “Not until I tell you something first.” He mumbles.

“Jeno.”

He studies the silhouette reflecting from the translucent sheet, held on the lattice frame of the door. His heart flutters just at the sight of Jeno hiding in the outline of black. He’s fallen hard. The sight of the door being shut tight somehow drives his confidence. Because he doesn't think he's ever able to spill his feelings out with Jeno right in front of him. Nor does he have the strength to look at him in the eye. He falters. He’s scared. He’s so freaking scared.

Renjun lets his head rest on the door, he’s so nervous he thinks he’s about to collapse. He figures he needs to recollect himself so he breathes in. He lets his eyes shut. He imagines Jeno’s hands interlocked with his, he wonders what it’s like to be in his embrace, what it’s like to be on the receiving end of his love and attention. _I need him to hear me out, I need to do this._

He clenches his fist. Renjun finds a tiny bit of courage in the thin sliding door that separates them. Jeno is literally just a few inches away, he’s right there but he can’t see him. He’s scared. He’s so freaking scared but he thinks this is an opportunity. He doesn't think he’s going to ever be able to spill his feelings out with Jeno while having to look Jeno directly in the eye. Heck, he thinks he’ll falter with just having Jeno stand right in front of him. So he starts. He lets himself wander in the memories of him and Jeno, of the time they first met and how everything changes right after their first encounter.

“Ever since the first day i came, i was so worried about school. I mean, being here in a foreign country, away from home. It’s difficult. I was worried about a lot of things. But you, Jeno. You came to my aid, you welcomed me with warmth. When you smiled at me that first day, it made me really happy. You-” He chokes back a tear, a little overwhelmed, “You gave me so much comfort, Jeno. From the very first day. Thank you for smiling at me. Thank you for talking to me. Thank you, for being so nice to me.”

“Renjun-” He tightens the grip on the door. He’s not done, not yet.

He thinks. He thinks about the secret smiles and knowing glances they shared together. He thinks about Jeno, who willingly listens to him as he talks/rants about the stars and all the unknowing creatures living above in the galaxies, because no one else would. Jeno, who binge-watched his favourite anime series (there were 4 seasons!!) despite being so adamant about it when Renjun pestered him to watch. Jeno, who got him his favourite bubble tea drink that one afternoon after school with his last bit of pocket money because he overheard him say he liked it. Jeno, who’s allergic to cats yet keeps them anyways. Jeno who smells of mint. Jeno, who helped him fight his battles even though he was going through battles of his own. Jeno, who presents himself to the world as someone who doesn't care for much, but Renjun sees. He sees his beautiful soul.

“I like you. I like you Jeno, like a lot.”

A blanket of silence fills the air. Renjun feels the tears running down his cheeks, his hands gripping the door, trembling. His grip on the door lock loosens. He feels his energy depleting. He wants to run away, far, but his legs won't budge. He feels a force from the other side of the door, attempting to slide it open.

“Jeno, Don't open the door. I don't want you-” He fumbles with the door handle but he’s too exhausted so he admits defeat. He lets the door slides open.

“..to see me like this.” His voice comes off a little timid. He averts his gaze, quickly covering his face with his trembling hands.

“Renjun, look at me.” He hears the other speak in a soft whisper.He feels Jeno's gentle grip on his wrist as he slowly puts his hands down. Jeno proceeds to cup his cheeks. Renjun keeps his eye shut. He’s afraid. He doesn’t want to look at him. He knows Jeno too well, easily too well. And he’s afraid to see. Because if he sees, he’ll know instantly, without having Jeno to tell him.

He wants the earth to swallow him whole.

“Renjun,” Jeno's voice comes off a little stern.

“I like you too.” Renjun’s eyes flung wide open, he takes a moment to register what he just heard. He blinks.

“I like you,” Jeno confirms. “I like you so much, Renjun.”

“I want you to be with me.” Jeno confesses, his voice a little shaky.

Renjun extends his trembling hands and places them on Jeno’s chest. _Oh my god._ His eyes widen as he stares at Jeno in disbelief. He notices the faint blush on Jeno’s cheeks and the soft goofy smile plastered on his face. He mentally processes this all in one go and comes to a realisation that what he’s witnessing; the soft smile, the rosy cheeks and racing heart. He's the reason for it all. _This is really happening._

Jeno pulls him in for a hug. Renjun realises, that in his warm embrace, it feels so much like home.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for making it all the way till the end!


End file.
